a woman in the men's room

[weezR]

Please don't feel bad, lady. It wasn't you entering the men's washroom that
caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the
time. It's rare for us guys to ever hit what were aiming for. Sometimes I go
into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around; just
so I'll make sure I hit something.


You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men's panises
have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall because all the
urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet, and his panis will
still manage to piss all over the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant
leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling 'ya those little buggers can't be
trusted.


After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer allowed
to pee like a man - standing up. I am required to sit down and pee. She has
convinced me that this is a small price to pay. Otherwise if she had gone to
the toilet one more time at night and either sat on a pee soaked toilet
seat, or fell right into the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down,
she was going to kill me in my sleep.


Now another thing us guys don't usually like to talk about, but because you
and I have become such good friends and you think I'm a classy guy, I might
as well be candid with you because it's a real problem, and you ladies need
to be understanding. It's the dreaded "morning wood".


Most mornings us guys wake up with two things. A tremendous desire to pee,
and a panis so hard you could cut diamonds with it. Well, no matter how hard
you try, you can't get that thing to bend, and if it don't bend you can't
aim, well hell, if you can't aim you have no choice but to piss all over the
wallpaper and that damn fuzzy toilet seat cover you women insist on putting
on the toilet.


And by the way, when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers, the
friggin' toilet seat won't stay up by itself. So that means we have to use
one hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other hand to try to control
ourselves for that perfect aim.


Now sometimes, when you're newly married, (and I know the guys in here will
back me up on this) you think you can get the toilet seat with that damn
fuzzy thing to stay up. You jam it back and compress that fuzzy thing until
the seat stays there. OK, so you start to pee, but then that compressed
fuzzy starts to decompress and without warning that damn toilet seat comes
flying down and tries to whack off your weenie.


So us guys will not lift a toilet seat with a fuzzy, it's just not safe. I
tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my wife. I told her...
look, it won't bend. She said, "sit down like I told you to do all the rest
of the time." OK. I tried sitting down on the toilet with "morning wood".


Well it's is very hard to get it bent under the toilet seat, and before I
could manage it, I had pissed all over the bath towels hanging on the wall
across the room. Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced
down under the toilet seat, when you start to pee the pee shoots out from
the crack between the bottom of the toilet seat and the top of the bowl. You
piss all over the back of your knees and it runs down the back of our legs
on to that damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug you keep putting on the floor
in front of the toilet.


I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this morning urinary
dilemma is to assume the flying superman position laying over the toilet
seat.


This takes a great deal of practice, perfect balance, and split time
precision but it's the only sure way to get all the pee in the bowl during
the first morning pee.


So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally to blame. We
are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene and bathroom cleanliness, but
there are times when things just get beyond our control.

[strossos]

/me roolfers :rofl: :rolfl:

sounds so serious and yet so funny:biglaugh:

[Joben]

uhhh wow. I cant think of anything to say.

[XMark]

Don't knock urine. It's a completely pure and sterile substance, and you can even drink it without any negative effects to your health!

[Entroper]

Best. Rant. Ever.

[Sarge]

whoa!....you oughta be on stage weezr....hilarious to say the least....:biglaugh:

xmark> good to mention that because that fact is not commonly known....I knew a guy who out in the atlantic once on a sailboat....they weren't really stranded, but they were freezing cold...they were having difficult maneuvering the boat I guess....so to combat that, they pissed on each others hands.....

so that being said, I dunno about that...my hands would have to be pretty dam cold for me to sit there and let a buddy piss on them....

[crunchy]

OMG, tears are streaming down my face!!!:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: . Honestly, that's one of the funniest things I've ever read! And true so true.

[MasterEvilAce]

Hahahaha...
Weezr, did you write that yourself??

Funniest thread EVER!!!'
[Next to sarge's keep out thread]

[NoMercy Rider]

ROFLMAO!!! That is the funniest thing I've read tonight! It is so funny, but so true! Keep stuff like this coming WeezR!

[viper45]

:rofl: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :rofl: :biglaugh: :rofl: :rofl: :biglaugh: :rofl:

[Quoth]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH *wheeze, pant, pant*HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

foooneyfonneyfooneyfoneytfooney
lol
im sitting in a school communal computer room & about 10 people are looking at me in a realy weird way cos i just fell off my chair laughing like a fool. thats a great read

[Ice Cold Beer]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

BTW, the technical term for the early morning.....condition....is EMHO (pronounced EEM-hoe). That's Early Morning Hard - On, for those of you who were never in the military.:D

Cheers:cool:

[Fluff Daddy]

what are the odds of that, i was just discussing the 6am stiffy in school and trying to explain it to a bunch of girls, actually, my accuracy is so crap that my brother wont even piss in our toilet any more, he uses my parent's toilet. I've found one thing that works is to get down on your knees and tilt your panis like 5 degrees down, the maximum it will go, then you must pee really slowly, hell it isnt foolproof, but more accurate than peeing straight at the wall. Luckily since this is my bathroom there is no foofy fluffy toilet seat cover.

honestly, thanks for that great thread, one of the first where i have actually laughed out loud. :D

[krob]

:confused:

[LactosetheIntolerant]

Oh dear god that was funneh. Nearly fell off my seat.
And its all true.

[krob]

Nearly fell off your toilet seat?

[asko]

lololloloolloololololo :D :D

[Ebenol]

best way is to lie in your bed and don't get up.

[Instetus]

just masturbate before you go to the restroom. all problems solved :D

[DiscoStu]

DiscoStu's Morning Urination Guilde

Condition 1: Half Stiff
Step 3 feet back from the toilet, the law of pythagoras applies here. As you get farther away, the angle downward is reduced. Also, as you near the end of the process, slowly get closer. With practice you can avoid dribbles on the floor.

Condition 2: Fuzzy Decorations
Screw two small hooks into the wall on either side of the toilet. If you share the toilet with any females (which I very much hope so because a straight man should not have fuzzy toilet decorations) you must get creative here. Make the hooks look like they hold some kind of decaration, like small hanging plants or wind chimes. Keep a bungee cord hidden somewhere in the cabnet under the sink, if you have no such place I recommend keeping it with you. The point of this is to hook the cord to the hooks, in a way that holds up the seat lit. As for the floor piece, just kick it out of the way, and then use your foot to put it back into place afterwards.

Condition 3a: Completely Stiff
The easiest way is to piss in the tub. Yes piss in the tub. You are getting into the shower in a bit anyway, or better yet jump in the shower right then and there and do it therefore the water is going and there is less risk of splash damage.

Condition 3b: Needing to do number two while Completely Stiff
You are in some trouble here. There is nothing that can really solve this short of either pissing on the wall or painful techniques like the tight elastic (ouch) or the Bag of Ice de-erectifier.




_

[strossos]

god....what would our mothers say?:biglaugh:

[weezR]

in responce to Fish Of Fury's sig

When I wake with wood and have to relieve myself badly...
sometimes I can't wait for it to soften:) so I stand in the shower.

Hope my wife doesn't read this:paranoid:

[SuperMang!]

oh god..... this thread made me laugh so hard my throat muscles are now fuxored. i hope you are happy.

[Rapid]

I hate it when that happens! Ive mastered the art of pissing while leaning against the wall at a 45 degree angle. Dont try it while standing on a tile floor though, cause you will either slide & piss on your face while falling or end up with your face in the toilet. Ive thought about putting a urinal in my bathroom just for that occasion:biglaugh:

[Ice Cold Beer]

This is the wife (though I threaten divorce to keep it fun!)............questions and comments on a thread that has taught me more than I ever wanted to know about penises. Hell, I figured they were just there for show!:D

Hubby's mother is a nurse, I'm sure she's held more dicks than Sherlock Holmes. I have some clue as to what you all are talking about.:P

I have to mention, from a female point of view, we women tend to take this condition as a form of
GASP........AROUSAL. After this thread, I'll just make sure he goes first, and there are at least 3 rolls of paper towels in the bathroom every morning! Will Lysol help with that wall problem? Of course, if it's sterile..................:eek2:

BTW, just for my research......is there any chance you guys want to have SEX after this is taken care of?

Ok, not necessarily with ME, but ............ LOL

[Sarge]

ANY TIME IS SEX TIME...for most men....:hat:

[[robot love]]

That was funny, Stu. Nice.

[Entroper]

Originally posted by Ice Cold Beer
BTW, just for my research......is there any chance you guys want to have SEX after this is taken care of?

Ok, not necessarily with ME, but ............ LOL Of course we would love to have sex with our wives after taking care of something like this. But it doesn't really have anything to do with the problem itself. ;)

[Scudz]

this is the best thread ever
:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

[Iirion Claus]

RoFL!!!!!

A moderator should stick this thread :D

[Ice Cold Beer]

Originally posted by Scudz
this is the best thread ever
:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

Agreed! Nothing but genital humor is good for this many laughs!:D

Cheers:cool:

[Fluff Daddy]

you know, Discostu, ive been thinking and if you are a tall man like me, sometimes it is also possible to piss in the sink, and if it goes straight it'll end up in that vertical drain thingy. Works though, and sex before peeing = lose. It is just not enjoyable, this has happenned to me countless times before masturbation and well it isnt fun when you are shooting white stuff everywhere and then yellow stuff a second later. Plus the colours dont really mix well together.

[Smithboy]

That was hilarious!

[Hollywood]

Originally posted by XMark
Don't knock urine. It's a completely pure and sterile substance, and you can even drink it without any negative effects to your health!

wot about all the toxins it removes from your body :rolleyes:

but lmao @ post, its so true!!

BASEBALL, COLDSHOWERS, BASEBALL, COLDSHOWERS, BASEBALL, COLDSHOWERS, BASEBALL, COLDSHOWERS

MARGRET THATURE NAKED ON A COLD DAY
MARGRET THATURE NAKED ON A COLD DAY

(sp?)

[weezR]

Originally posted by Ice Cold Beer
BTW, just for my research......is there any chance you guys want to have SEX after this is taken care of?

Ok, not necessarily with ME, but ............ LOL

oh ya...everytime...anytime...anyplace:D

[KATSY]

OMG-
too funny -

I never heard of a bag of ice as a de- erectifier!!!

:-)

YES at my house- all sexes sit to pee-
even my dogs!


KAT

[Smithboy]

I must bring this up again because of wardile's masturbation thread.

And I will vote this 5 because it deserves that.

BTW I don't usually get that morning wood, though I did get that when taking a road trip. I took a nap in the car and when I woke-up, I really had to go. I held it and it just starts to feel quite uncomfortable and difficult to hold and any movement hurts. I didn't hold it as long as Furious Fish, but it was definetly long enough.

BTW if any ladies are wondering, I had a pretty good idea why it gets erect when we really have to pee. I think people that take biology maybe know this, but I didn't take it past grade 10. Anyway, when a man really has to pee, he needs to concentrate to keep it all from coming out. It gets more difficult as the bladder gets quite full, and then the pAnis becomes erect and it stops you from accidently peeing yourself if you let go. It doesn't mean you can't pee, just that you don't have to consciously hold it all the time. OF course, this is useful for sex as it prevents you from peeing while you are gettin' it on.

I dunno if many of you knew this already, but probably. Anyway, should be useful for whoever else wants to know.

Please, make with the funnies now! Does anyone else have some more bathroom humor?

I never mentioned if I went in the shower or not. I do occassionally, as I do not see a need to get out and use the toilet, or wait unti afterwards. I try to go before I get into the shower, but sometimes I forget, I need to get into the shower right away, or I mis-judge my urgency. Also there's something about the shower that makes it kind of fun. It's so nice and warm in the shower and relaxing....can't....hold....it....back.....psssss sssss. You see where I'm going?

I tried getting out of the shower to use the toilet, but I'm soaking wet and it's uncomfortable cold out of the shower. I've had to do that for #2 sometimes and it's always unpleasant.

Now for the morning wood. I never just go into the shower and do it. I can do that superman move, or a variation of it and successfully aim it into the toilet bowl.

I have a fuzzy toilet seat cover in my bathroom, actually. It's mostly just a bathroom for my brother and I, though my mom did the decoration. I'm lucky enough that the lid can stand up by itself without fear of falling on my willy.

I don't understand why women complain about leaving the toilet seat up. Do men walk into the bathroom and piss on the lid because someone left the lid down? Maybe some do. Anyway, I always put it down because I don't like to have it up, and I see no problem with lifting it all the time. And If I have to sit down, I make sure there is a seat there. It's not difficult to do this. I don't know why women would not check for this. It is something they should note down. I don't see women walking into doors because they're closed or something else like that. So help me out here anyone.

Now this would be the last part of my post: Sitting down on the toilet. Never do I sit down just to pee. It it too convenient to stand up that it's not worth it. Occassionally I may miss, but that doesn't happen, and I can make sure by kneeling down and aiming if I need to. Does any guy sit down all the time? I think Katsy said her hubby has to because of her.

[ZEN]

sit'n dont work eithier...still manages to run over the rim under the seat:( and if yer wear'n socks...well...ya git the drift if ya know what i mean:biglaugh:

[viper45]

Originally posted by Smithboy
I tried getting out of the shower to use the toilet, but I'm soaking wet and it's uncomfortable cold out of the shower. I've had to do that for #2 sometimes and it's always unpleasant.


omg, that happens to me alot. Do you ever get like a sudden punch in the ass from needing to poop *RIGHT NOW* just out of no where? You know when it really starts pushin. Well that happend once in the shower to me and *plop* I pooped a turd right then and there :D

[ZEN]

Originally posted by viper45
omg, that happens to me alot. Do you ever get like a sudden punch in the ass from needing to poop *RIGHT NOW* just out of no where? You know when it really starts pushin. Well that happend once in the shower to me and *plop* I pooped a turd right then and there :D

[Smithboy]

Ah, so that's how the idea for that skit came into being.

[Oswald]

Originally posted by viper45
omg, that happens to me alot. Do you ever get like a sudden punch in the ass from needing to poop *RIGHT NOW* just out of no where? You know when it really starts pushin. Well that happend once in the shower to me and *plop* I pooped a turd right then and there :D
in the name of all that is decently pure my god i almost fell over laughing my ass off... you turd in the shower pooper :D
oswald

[toastar]

Originally posted by pooper45
omg, that happens to me alot. Do you ever get like a sudden punch in the ass from needing to poop *RIGHT NOW* just out of no where? You know when it really starts pushin. Well that happend once in the shower to me and *plop* I pooped a turd right then and there :D

Erm, thats not something to really be proud of :)
In other news.. where's that barfing smiley?

[Dave the Insane]

Originally posted by viper45
omg, that happens to me alot. Do you ever get like a sudden punch in the ass from needing to poop *RIGHT NOW* just out of no where? You know when it really starts pushin. Well that happend once in the shower to me and *plop* I pooped a turd right then and there [QUOTE]

:biglaugh:

o_O



[QUOTE]Originally posted by toastar
In other news.. where's that barfing smiley?

http://216.40.249.192/mysmilies/cwm/cwm/puke.gif

[Bwian]

I don't know about you guys, but sitting down to pee with morning wood isn't possible, but not for the reasons given.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows how to not piss on the wall. However, if you're successful in not pissing on the wall, you have another problem entirely. And that is, the dreaded "panis touching the toilet bowl" problem. Is anyone else afraid of this anomoly as much as I? It just seems wrong, to have your manhood touch something that is part of a receptacle for human waste. Collary to the "panis touching the toilet bowl" problem, is if you are lucky enough to not touch it (or your panis is unfortunately too short for this to ever happen in the first place), if you start to piss, you'll get splash all over your panis, and if you're holding yourself, your hand as well.

As a side note, am I the only one that doesn't actually feel the need to piss until I actually get INTO the running shower? It sucks!

[Fluff Daddy]

I get peepee problems all the time, but what's worse is that i'm always getting stiffies for no apparent reason, and when there is a reason it's even worse, like when that chick in my class bends over in her low cut jeans and her ass crack and thong show completely, now this girl probably has the best ass in the world, and is always bent over, that could be a good thing, but it keeps my panis stiff and that isnt good when im walking around the studio ARGH! WHAT TO DO! It takes a lot of concentration for me to unstiff my penis, I have to think of nothing and completely relax for 10 minutes :/

[LactosetheIntolerant]

that happens to me also bwian, and its not like it really matters anyway. urine is sterile and it gets washed down the drain immediately...
and viper: UGH! i didnt need to hear that, but funny anyway, because it didnt happen to me.

[Entroper]

What I can't stand is when I wake up without morning wood, and think everything is fine and dandy. I go stand over the toilet, take it out, aim it perfectly... and urine goes streaming out in two directions, each completely different from where I was aiming. Usually occurs because of a pube that somehow got pulled over the opening, or occasionally it's just kinda sticky from... you know. No matter how well you clean up after yourself there always seems to be some seminal fluid left, and it comes to the tip when your panis goes flaccid.

There's really nothing you can do about the dual stream once it occurs, as there's already urine all over everything. You can try to get both streams in the bowl, you can try to stop going (painful!) and remove the obstruction, but what I usually try to do is just pee as hard as I can, and it forces out whatever was in the way. Usually doesn't work for pubes, though, you have to pull those off with your hand, getting urine all over it in the process. Ugh.

[Fluff Daddy]

yeah
i hate split peeing that is the most annoying thing about peeing after a wank, which is why i sit down at that point, plus the toilet seat is like the only other free seat in my room!

[Lupo]

Thi thread is too funny.

:rofl:

[Bwian]

Ugh, the two way stream. That has got to be the worst.

[Entroper]

At least you CAN sit down immediately after a wank, since after a few minutes you're nice and floppeh. I just hate when it happens randomly, no way to predict the need to sit.

I think I'll get a urinal installed in my house. A floor-length urinal, and I won't have to stand 2 inches away from it to hide my panis in homophobia. Just drop the trousers and let it fly, that'll be a joyous day.



EDIT: I should add something about Smithboy's post. He mentioned putting the seat down and such. I agree, why is this such a big deal? It isn't difficult for me to lift the seat up to pee, why would it be hard for her to put the seat down to pee? And you should never, EVER sit down in an area you haven't looked at with your eyes, especially if you're gonna drop your pants first! I make it a personal rule to always verify 100% the contents of any position my naked ass is about to occupy. Just look down while you unzip, it's really that simple.

Maybe this is why women always buy those fuzzy seat covers. It prevents the seat from staying up.

[Joben]

I dont get the actual "morning wood" too often.
I think its my 'schedual', I dont generaly have to pee that much
when i first get up, its comes about an hour later.

...wait did i just discuss my unrination habits?...ahh the 'net is a wonderful thing.
But to go further on this...If I do the Superman with morning wood, my wang hits the water. :orange:

[ZEN]

morning wood?.....i like to refer to it as morning thickness...:rolleyes:

[Joben]

heh i didnt invent that term, i think its kinda silly sounding.

How about...Post Slumber Manhood Confirmation?
mwahah political correct style speech is fun.

[Mechman]

I prefer the classic ZZ top method of naming it. Woke up with wood. And My problem isn't the split-pee. Its when the piping gets a kink. I wake up, sit down, and suddenly my leg is soaking.

[Smithboy]

Originally posted by Joben
But to go further on this...If I do the Superman with morning wood, my wang hits the water. :orange:

How does that happen? Isn't it standing up and leaning over the bowl? It should give you plenty of room, unless maybe you're not very tall or something.

[Mechman]

Or almost as well endowed as me.

[Xaositect_Crayon]

hehe think of all the problems I have... not circumsized

[viper45]

Originally posted by Smithboy
How does that happen? Isn't it standing up and leaning over the bowl? It should give you plenty of room, unless maybe you're not very tall or something.

rofl


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

An alternate of "Morning Wood":

Erectile Mornings (TM)

[Xaositect_Crayon]

Originally posted by Smithboy
How does that happen? Isn't it standing up and leaning over the bowl? It should give you plenty of room, unless maybe you're not very tall or something.
well it matters it usually gives a man of 5'4 about a foot of room....
8================================================= ========D
p.s. maybe I should use that as a page devider

[Mechman]

Well, I find that an average man needs, on average, at least 6 inches of room. I myself require at least 8 feet.
And a fairly wide bathroom.
On the other hand, the world is my urinal.

[Mechman]

Not that I wanted to.....hell, I HAD to bump this.

[Sarge]

ahhh, I was wondering what happened to this thread...

this is a definite MAN thread...no broads allowed....

[toastar]

Bumped? Try "reminding everyone viper poops in the shower" :D

[weezR]

Originally posted by toastar
Bumped? Try "reminding everyone viper poops in the shower" :D

Missed this, got any video? Did he smash throught grate with his foot?

[Joben]

Originally posted by Smithboy
How does that happen? Isn't it standing up and leaning over the bowl? It should give you plenty of room, unless maybe you're not very tall or something.

note the term 'the supeman'...i belive it was mentioned earlyer in the thread.

for typo that made it hard to understand

[Mechman]

Superman IN FLIGHT.

[Alien Slayer]

Heh heh, the flying superman position. That's hilarious, what's more funny, I can relate:biglaugh: Have to get in close, I think there is a built in diverter valve in the panis with it's own elctronic brain and it gets diverted or split in two just when it feels like it. I get so so pissed off, or should I say pissed on sometimes when it sprays my leg I get mad and choke that bastard, which really doesn't help cause it just hurts.

Anyhoo, how did I miss this thread the first time around I wonder? Must have been while I was gone for awhile, cause this is funny and I would have remembered this one.

[The friendly newbie]

lol that rant is soooo true :p yet no female understands :/

[Ice Cold Beer]

Oh yeah?

Scan back to page two and see what my wife had to say about it.

NOTE: She posted under my profile -- let me make that perfectly clear right now. She was also a wee bit tipsy.:D

Cheers

[Sarge]

oh yeah, I remember that now ICB....geez, the ol noggin just aint what she used to be....

[Mechman]

Ahhhhh......one of the few totally honest posts....

[AlexRuiz]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

This is one of the coolest thread I have read in a long time...... go up!!

I'll write my "comments" later.....

8=================D

[Lotar]

8====D<

[Evangelion2]

:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

[AlexRuiz]

Originally posted by Lotar
8====D<

That is even funnier......

[Ice Cold Beer]

HEY!

WATCH THAT OVERSPRAY!!

:D

Cheers

[ZEN]

Originally posted by Lotar
8====D<

o_O ........why the long face Lotar?

[McFuggin]

:rofl:
This is one of the very few threads that I actuallly laughed at. :biglaugh:

[weezR]

Saw this one in the urinal at the hospital yesterday
"No wonder you always go home alone"

[Mechman]

I just found out that I want to bump this thread!

Oh, and it turns out that about 7 years ago, while my house was being built, my parents were split over whether to include a urinal or not. My dad got his way, so I don't have one in my bathroom.....

[Joben]

Originally posted by Mechman
I just found out that I want to bump this thread!

Oh, and it turns out that about 7 years ago, while my house was being built, my parents were split over whether to include a urinal or not. My dad got his way, so I don't have one in my bathroom.....

I dont follow the logic...one assumes that dad (male) would want a urinal. So why if he got his way are you then telling us that you were short one occurance of urinal.

(...I say things weird when i get tired.)

[Smithboy]

Originally posted by Joben
I dont follow the logic...one assumes that dad (male) would want a urinal. So why if he got his way are you then telling us that you were short one occurance of urinal.

(...I say things weird when i get tired.)

Because he lost his panis in the war. :eek:

[DR.PUNCH IN THE FACE]

even more annoying than peeing everywhere is not peeing.
sometimes i just gotta go, but than...nothing. its like one of those annoying itches in your throat, you just cant scratch it. so i run around doin the piss dance thinkin im gonna go in my pants...but nothin.
****ing annoying.

[weezR]

never had that problem...when I gotta go, I gotta go.
I do a lot of driving, so by the time I getta chance to go...I take advantage of it...
where ever it may be!!!

[DR.PUNCH IN THE FACE]

side of the road is a perfect substitue for a toilet. so are lawns and sidewalks, and buildings, and other peoples front rooms.

[Smithboy]

Originally posted by Captain Plankface
even more annoying than peeing everywhere is not peeing.
sometimes i just gotta go, but than...nothing. its like one of those annoying itches in your throat, you just cant scratch it. so i run around doin the piss dance thinkin im gonna go in my pants...but nothin.
****ing annoying.

That only happens to me when I'm in a public place, like a bunch or urinals. Even though I don't care a whole lot, my body seems to freeze-up.

[Eric2002]

Originally posted by Smithboy
That only happens to me when I'm in a public place, like a bunch or urinals. Even though I don't care a whole lot, my body seems to freeze-up. yeah... same here.... like in school.... if theres people using the urinals..... i cant go... wont come out

[Manicsubsidal]

what an odd chat this has become........o_O

[Mechman]

Hey, I have that same 'gun-shy' problem too. And yes, my dad was the one against the urinal. Wasn't classy.

[big jon]

*cough*small panis*cough*

[DR.PUNCH IN THE FACE]

no, im not "gun shy" just sometimes i cant make with the whiz.

[Smithboy]

Originally posted by Mechman
Hey, I have that same 'gun-shy' problem too. And yes, my dad was the one against the urinal. Wasn't classy.

Who has a urinal in their home? I always thought that was one of those cool things you could get if you're rich, but it's just crazy unless you're eccentric.

[Joben]

Originally posted by Mechman
Hey, I have that same 'gun-shy' problem too. And yes, my dad was the one against the urinal. Wasn't classy.

yeh i guess he had a point. Most of the reactions it would generate would be something like: "You have a WHAT?"
Its just not something you see in private homes, when i hear urinal i think McDonald's bathrooms.

[ZEN]

I used a urinal in a restaurant once...they really should put the roll closer though;)

[big jon]

:rofl:

[Manicsubsidal]

:rofl: :rofl: