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Old 04-22-2012, 06:30 AM   #1   Add To Ignore List  
ah damnit
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Default Serious Nonsense for Serious People


Here's a little mod I've been working on; Serious Nonsense for Serious People.

This mod is a bit unusual. It messes with the behavior of both enemies and weapons to produce silly things that are technically possible with SED3. Get ready to see things like large Kamikazies that run away from you, tiny and slow Kleers that can from one end of a street to another with a single jump, friendly Harpies that kill enemies in one or two hits, Gnaars that randomly run around like they're on drugs and yell INCOMING MESSAGE, and much more!

Basically, the idea behind this mod is to create the SS3 equivalent of the Blessed Engine, a mod for the original Doom. SED3 isn't as versatile as the tools that were used to make the Blessed Engine, but I've still managed to produce some strange changes to the game. You won't be seeing things like dead Rocketeers spawn Arachnoids that transform into Scrapjacks when the game tells them to start firing, but it should still be pretty silly.

Quite a few strings have been altered in the English language file, so those that use English as their language in-game will get several extra goodies that make the mod even more absurd! I've also cleaned up all of the cuss words in the subtitles to protect our youth from bad words.

Some enemies also have different sounds to mix things up a bit. I won't spoil anything, but they should help add to the WTF feeling the mod has.


(this is ripped straight from the readme)

BEHEADED ROCKETEER - this mean purple giant will try to use his piss-weak rocket launcher against you and circle srafe you like a pro gamer. However, don't get too close because his kick can tear you in two.

The REMORESEFUL BEHEADED KAMIKAZE - He's twice as big, but the arthritis caused by him being so big make him much slower than he normally would. Unfortunatly, he's having major second thoughts about killing you, so he'll stop when he gets close to you.

DRUGGED UP GNAAR - After a major meth brindge, these Gnaars are paranoid as hell. They randomly run around while screaming INCOMING MESSAGE at you. Meth is no joke.

KLEER SKELETONS - These little baby Kleers just want to say hello! They like giving big hugs so much that they'll jump very, very fast to give you one!
BABY SPIDER - They won't attack Sam because they're newborns and they don't know any better. If you deliberatly hunt down and kill them then you're a meanie.

BIG SPIDER - Big Brother Spider has found a way to summon deadly scaffolding poles from another dimension. He tries to show it off by tossing them at Sam, but everyone knows he's a huge tool.

CLONED SHOTGUNNER - These guys hold oversized Sirian Mutilators in their hands. These bracelets let them summon medicore voice acting from the future, which hurts you.

CLONED RIFLEMAN - They're equipped with Soundwave Cannons. These cannons let them annoy you to death by constatly playing the same, half a minute long voice clip from the first part of the first level. They're also very fast in order to ensure that you'll hear their Soundwave Cannons.

BIG BABY ARACHNOID - this baby Arachnoid is a big pansy. He'll try to run away from you if you give him a chance. However, he'll occasionally just stand there and fire rockets at you. Bleh.

ADULT ARACHNOID - This tiny guy spends most of his days wandering around, oblivious to anyone. However, if he sees you, he'll start following you and will occasionally moonwalk. He's harmless.

WEREBULL - The little Werebull that couldn't.

MAJOR BIOMECHANOID - NETRISCA has downloaded herself into a Major Biomechanoid. Unfortunatly, his guns are broken. Because of this, his guns fire Beheaded Rocketeer rockets and Harpy projectiles. Almost forgot to mention that his targeting system is still focused on you. Way to go, Nettie!

TECHNOPOLIP - These guys go down in one hit and can't hurt you. **** those assholes.

HARPY - Harpies are now Guardian Angels. As soon as enemies appear, they will start attacking them, but will never attack you. Their melee attacks are much, much more powerful.
Their HP has been doubled, so they can take a few hits before going down.

MINOR BIOMECHANOID - These guys now fire rockets, but thanks to some time travel shennanigans, their rockets are now very, very slow. They don't know this.

SCRAPJACK - oh god why are they so fast he;lp

WITCH BRIDE - Creepy, chubby fan of Serious Sam. She will teleport in from nowhere and try to magically hug you. It hurts, so you'll have to kill her.

KHNUM - Khnums are now as big as a skyscraper. However, they will either slowly walk up to you or just stay there because of extreme arthritis.


1. Grab and Mutilator = same.

2. HAMMER - the Hammer has been infused with holy power, which lets you kill almost anything in one hit with it.

2. PISTOL - This special edition pistol has a smaller magazine, but does more damage. However, the cool thing about it is that it makes you go 1.5 faster while you're looking down ironsights. It's like you're in a shitty Matrix ripoff mod!

3. SHOTGUN - Congratulations! Your shotgun has been upgraded to use MEGA SHOTGUN SHELLS! However, your gun's magazine can only hold four rounds. owned bitch

4. DOUBLE SHOTGUN - Have you ever said to yourself "Boy, I sure would love a Shotgun that can kill anything in one hit, but can't hit anything outside of melee range?" Here you go!

5. FIREBALL ASSAULT RIFLE - This assault rifle fires little fireballs at your enemies. Sam can't hit shit if he's not using ironsights because the spirit of the Counter-Strike Guy is infused in this gun, but with ironsights, you can do some damage. Weapon damage has been doubled compared to vanilla.

6. DAMAGED MINIGUN - Here's what happens when you don't maintain your minigun. It takes 4 seconds to wind up, but each bullet does double damage. Make sure you have pleanty of room between you and enemies before you take this out.

7. KAWAII ROCKET LAUNCHER - Fires tiny and adorable missles! ^_^ These little angels do double damage and are way faster than normal rockets, but their small size makes it harder to hit enemies like Rocketeers at medium range. ~Uguu

8. MINI-NUKE DEMOLITION CHARGES - Seems like someone found a way to make nukes into portable packages. This puppies have a larger blast radius, which means don't toss them near you. On the upside, they give Sam the ability to rain down Charges without having to stop for some reason.

9. HARPY GUN - Another fantabulous weapon from MAD SCIENCE INC. This is your bog-standard Laser Gun, but the super-flux capilator has been replaced with a Harpy's breasts.
This lets the gun fire powerful versions of the Harpy's projectile that can tear through multiple enemies ala the Devastator, but this makes it so that the Harpy screams everytime the gun is fired.
We all have to make sacrifices sometime.

10. FIREBALL GUN - This weapon don't just fire fireballs, IT FIRES FIREBALLS THAT HOME IN ON ENEMIES!

11. BROKEN SNIPER RIFLE - Some jerk messed with the scope so that it zooms ito 16x if you hold down the zoom key for like half a second. They also made it so that unzoomed shots are piss weak, so have fun!

12. PLASMA BALL CANNON - It's time to go bowling with a Plasma Ball the size of a city block!
PS. Don't look downwards when firing this weapon.

13. ENEMY BODY PARTS - Enemy body parts are significantly stronger thanks to your excessive steroid consumption.
Everthing except Scrapjack heads to 1,000 damage if they hit something. Scrapjack heads do 10,000 damage per hit and can hit multiple enemies.
The Scrapjack head is significantly stronger thanks to the kiss Sam gives it. His passion for the Scrapjack is infused in it's head, making it extremely powerful when thrown.


YouTube Video: Video 1

YouTube Video: Video 2 (only one or two things in it are outdated)

YouTube Video: Weapons (only the Pump Shotgun is outdated)


*Make Versus versions of the guns.

*Make a separate package that has the enemies use different puppet and behavior file names so that crazy modders can include them in levels, but they won't override the default enemies.

*Maybe make a separate .gro that only has the altered weapons.

*Maybe change the Khnum to toss mini-nukes to make them more unique compared to the vanilla Khnum.
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Old 04-22-2012, 09:30 AM   #2   Add To Ignore List  
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Default Re: Serious Nonsense for Serious People

I like the idea of the mod, but I myself would change graphics and models of enemies if possible. It looks cool so far, but there needs to be a lot more real nonsense. :3
Keep up the work! I can't wait to play.

My name is Mongo, and I like Gnaars. And Cookies. Mmmm... Cookies!
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Old 04-23-2012, 06:42 AM   #3   Add To Ignore List  
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Default Re: Serious Nonsense for Serious People

Yay, you released this! I will download and check it out when I get the time to wait for Sam 3 to load.
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:22 AM   #4   Add To Ignore List  
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Default Re: Serious Nonsense for Serious People

Sounds interesting and I'm all for anything unusual, but I'm more concerned about the gameplay balance, because it sounds like you'd have a very hard time balancing that to be enjoyable with all the ridiculous instakill enemy gibs and stuff.
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Old 04-24-2012, 07:01 PM   #5   Add To Ignore List  
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Default Re: Serious Nonsense for Serious People

Originally Posted by Finzy View Post
Sounds interesting and I'm all for anything unusual, but I'm more concerned about the gameplay balance, because it sounds like you'd have a very hard time balancing that to be enjoyable with all the ridiculous instakill enemy gibs and stuff.
It's not about balance. It's about how ridiculous and silly it is to kill a large fat monster by throwing an eyeball at it. You can have fun without something being balanced (like Unreal Tournament and MW2 DM).

It's a throwback to when mods were supposed to be fun, imaginative, and silly. Roll with it.
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:10 PM   #6   Add To Ignore List  
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Default Re: Serious Nonsense for Serious People

Reminds Me Of PulseErrorMod for the classic Serious Sam
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Your Parents Had a great Valentine!
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