Seriously!

Go Back   Seriously! Forums > General > Off Topic Forum

Off Topic Forum Discuss anything and everything in this forum.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 06-09-2004, 12:01 PM   #1   Add To Ignore List  
Southern
 
crunchy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2001
Location: 10EC
 
crunchy is offline
Default Send us old farts to war

I copied this from another forum (with permission);

Subject: Sending Old Men To War


If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track
down those responsible for killing thousands of
innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC
But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too
old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than
35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing
backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys.

You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least
35. For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of
times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional
seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and
a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't
kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission.
"My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote
control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you
shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough
to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other
hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time
he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a
backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer
belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.
Old guys get up early every morning to pee.

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans
because we'd probably forget where we put them. In
fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're
used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually
like soft food. We've also developed a deep
appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost
better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot
wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever
do any pushups after completing basic training. I can
hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give
me...er...one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy.
I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's
still learning to shave, to actually carry on a
conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his
butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out.
He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue
catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in
the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an
eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to
learn a little more about life before sending them off
to possible death.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards
who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last
thing the enemy would want to see right now is a
couple of million old farts with attitudes.

__________________
American By Birth....Southern By The Grace Of God!!
NRA Life member, NRA recruiter, FNRA Chairman
"An armed society is a polite society." R.A. Hienlien
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 12:04 PM   #2   Add To Ignore List  
Beware the buttcat
 
LactosetheIntolerant's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Location: Beaver Country, eh
 
LactosetheIntolerant is offline Send a message via ICQ to LactosetheIntolerant Send a message via MSN to LactosetheIntolerant Send a message via Yahoo to LactosetheIntolerant
Default

sounds like a plan
__________________
Everyone needs a little crazy in their life, and I don't mean a mentally unstable leprechaun.
Neemer on Xbox Live.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 12:11 PM   #3   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

**** the government lets go anyway,..Crunchman you get the wheelchairs I'll get the viagra,..we'll show those bastards how to terroize.


Yeah the government should wake up and create a core just for US.

All I'm doing with my expirence here is paying taxes,..Id rather be shot.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 12:23 PM   #4   Add To Ignore List  
 
Lupo's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2001
Location: Boo! Right behind you.
 
Lupo is offline
Default

I'm in but I wanna be a Tanker this time.

But if I can't do that I'll be a LRRP. That is as long as I get to recon the local puussay too.



--Lupo


I can see it now crunchman shootin', me drivin', ZEN at TC, in a nice 60 ton wheelchair with 120 mike mike main and a couple a Ma dueces, heh heh heh.
__________________
Master of the Art of CPU Torture, and air cooling.

Last edited by Lupo; 06-09-2004 at 12:28 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 12:52 PM   #5   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

I can still pack a mop and castrate a fly at 1000 yards,gather inteligents,and set up a morter along with many other things,pity to waist it.

Find there little nests and toss a gps in a shollow sand hole.
We would be one anti terrorist force to recon with IMO.
Trouble is they want everyone jumping though hoops instead of letting us do it our way.

Thats probaly why they dont want us,..they dont want anyone showing that theyre core of officers are not needed not that they were much use to me to began with until they were properly blooded then they started takeing an interest at what the men thought.
Take caly for instasnce he ingnored his mens pleas to do night patrols in the villages to keep the kong from sneak'n in because the brass told him to leave the villages at night alone and as soon as the enemy reconized it they exploited it untul he attacked out of fear and rage and frustration.
A group of geezers who know better then to let the enemy get to close would be hard to control for the polititions who seek reselections.

Sometimes I think we should just let the bastards in and let them wreck havic here on the people good and proper then ignore there crys for help saying it would be stupid to fight a war that never existed and since they dont have wepons of mass detruction theres no point in it.
Let them stew for a long time until they see the light then tell em to kiss our ass.

Maybe start out own regeime,..yeah,..but I aint dress'n as a cleric.

I shall call it,.. ... ... the hardy party.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 01:10 PM   #6   Add To Ignore List  
Southern
 
crunchy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2001
Location: 10EC
 
crunchy is offline
Default

"I can see it now crunchman shootin', me drivin', ZEN at TC, in a nice 60 ton wheelchair with 120 mike mike main and a couple a Ma dueces, heh heh heh."

Now that's a wheelchair I can live with! Once ya get my old arthritic ass up in it!
__________________
American By Birth....Southern By The Grace Of God!!
NRA Life member, NRA recruiter, FNRA Chairman
"An armed society is a polite society." R.A. Hienlien
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 02:07 PM   #7   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

I was think,n more along the line of information gathering and setups.
Who's going to pay attention to an old man with a walking stick looking for handouts while we place a gps on top of theyre cahce or liveing quaters.
Maybe run a 123 on em or or set up an ambush on theyre ass by bringing the tank around for them to shoot at while we come in the hood and pick em off from the rear and flanks.

Though a tank would be fun.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 02:13 PM   #8   Add To Ignore List  
Banned
 
karmann's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Knoxville, TN
 
karmann is offline Send a message via ICQ to karmann Send a message via AIM to karmann Send a message via MSN to karmann Send a message via Yahoo to karmann
Default

Armored metal tank + desert = the suck

Unless they have AC which I very much doubt.

Edit: My wife's uncle is a plant manager for a tank manufacturer. He gets to go to proving grounds and such. Lucky bastard.

Last edited by karmann; 06-09-2004 at 02:15 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 02:36 PM   #9   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

Yeah big equipment would be nice but the maintanance might present a prolem for sure especaly in the feild.

Im sure what ever task we had would fill a life time with or without,I think the old vets would do better with hummers and sniper rifles as backup to situations and info gathering.

And I still need a nap in the afternoon.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 02:44 PM   #10   Add To Ignore List  
Montana Moron
 
Mordkessel's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Mahboula, Kuwait
 
Mordkessel is offline
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by karmann
Armored metal tank + desert = the suck

Unless they have AC which I very much doubt.

Edit: My wife's uncle is a plant manager for a tank manufacturer. He gets to go to proving grounds and such. Lucky bastard.

my friend there are three companies here in kuwait (american companies) that are upgrading the A/C units and armor on humvees and other vehicles including tanks. they do have a/c at a positive pressure.

I tried to get back in the military after 9/11 but they said I'd been out too long the ****ing bastards.
__________________
"People sleep peaceably in thier beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on thier behalf"--------George Orwell

"In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it."----Field Marshall Erwin Rommel


slow, stupid, and harmless
Mordkessel^(WCFD)^
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 04:09 PM   #11   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

I say we if capture them send them all to the states for the humanitarians to care for. Id like to see how they deal with them.(evil grin)
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 04:11 PM   #12   Add To Ignore List  
Southern
 
crunchy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2001
Location: 10EC
 
crunchy is offline
Default

Hummers and sniper rifles are alright, but I'm not much good past 300 yds. anymore. I'd have to go for body hits instead of the head.
__________________
American By Birth....Southern By The Grace Of God!!
NRA Life member, NRA recruiter, FNRA Chairman
"An armed society is a polite society." R.A. Hienlien
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 05:13 PM   #13   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

Meh,..just get the proper correction for the sites and a little practice with some coaching and sneering from us and you'll be good as new,..maybe better.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 06:25 PM   #14   Add To Ignore List  
 
Lupo's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2001
Location: Boo! Right behind you.
 
Lupo is offline
Default

I can't sleep at night and can only sleep for 4 or 5 hours tops anyway because of the arthritus so night recon with some NV would be right up my ally. For a fat old fart I can still move awfully quiet. That's how I catch all them skittish trout and bass. The little bastards hear ya coming. So whenever just let me know, heh heh heh. If not I'll do it here if need be.



--Lupo


P.S. I lived over half my life in a little town called Camillus. It's claim to fame is a cutlery. THE VERY ONE that made the Kabars for the Marines in WWII through Vietnam, the Survival knives for the Airforce, and the Knives for the Airborns with those hooked blades for cutting 'chute lines. I'm real comfortable with cutlery. Silent and deadly.
__________________
Master of the Art of CPU Torture, and air cooling.

Last edited by Lupo; 06-09-2004 at 06:30 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 07:48 PM   #15   Add To Ignore List  
343 Guilty Spark
 
Alien Slayer's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Location: Sacramento, CA
 
Alien Slayer is offline
Default

Good one Crunchman. My mom sent me that in an email a few weeks ago and I got a good laugh from it.
Tell you what, I will bring the geritol and icy hot for the rhumetiz. Can't have the old trigger finger joints locking up.
Can't bring any Ben Gay though as it isn't politically correct. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
AS
__________________
Alien SlaYeR

"Get out of here Stalker!... Get out of here Stalker!"
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 11:32 PM   #16   Add To Ignore List  
Did you see?
 
Louva-Deus's Avatar
 
魂クラッシャー
Joined: Oct 2001
 
Louva-Deus is offline
Default

Crazy old farts
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2004, 11:41 PM   #17   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Louva-Deus
Crazy old farts
Back a little early aint ya?.. miss us did you?
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 01:52 AM   #18   Add To Ignore List  
Southern
 
crunchy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2001
Location: 10EC
 
crunchy is offline
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Louva-Deus
Crazy old farts

Yep! Never claimed to be anything else.
__________________
American By Birth....Southern By The Grace Of God!!
NRA Life member, NRA recruiter, FNRA Chairman
"An armed society is a polite society." R.A. Hienlien
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 02:46 AM   #19   Add To Ignore List  
master misspella!
 
EpShot's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Venice
 
EpShot is offline Send a message via AIM to EpShot
Default

hehehehe..
__________________
for every sprinkle i find.. i shall KILL YOU! - Stewie
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 05:18 AM   #20   Add To Ignore List  
ƃuoɹʍ ʇı ƃuıop
 
Fo0d's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Italy
 
Fo0d is offline
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lupo
I'm in but I wanna be a Tanker this time.

But if I can't do that I'll be a LRRP. That is as long as I get to recon the local puussay too.



--Lupo

I am so sure that they are going to give it to you.

:sarcastic:
__________________
˙sʇsod ɹnoʎ buıpɐǝɹ ʇou
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 06:36 AM   #21   Add To Ignore List  
Did you see?
 
Louva-Deus's Avatar
 
魂クラッシャー
Joined: Oct 2001
 
Louva-Deus is offline
Default

Just wait till I invent real-life mobile suits. Then one of us mid-20 yr olds can do the work of an entire batallion of old fogey soldiers
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 09:57 AM   #22   Add To Ignore List  
Direwolf Founder
 
BurnHavoc's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2002
Location: Newmarket, Ontario
 
BurnHavoc is offline Send a message via ICQ to BurnHavoc Send a message via AIM to BurnHavoc Send a message via MSN to BurnHavoc Send a message via Yahoo to BurnHavoc
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Louva-Deus
Just wait till I invent real-life mobile suits. Then one of us mid-20 yr olds can do the work of an entire batallion of old fogey soldiers
*nod*nod*

Full Metal Panic style damnit.
__________________
If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.
- Issac Asimov


Wii Number [2504 6833 4090 9541]
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 10:43 AM   #23   Add To Ignore List  
Nyan Cat
 
MeadowMuffin's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2003
Location: Portland, OR
 
MeadowMuffin is offline
Default

Well, in some ways it would make sense. Granted you can't get into the military after you are 35, but there are plenty of people that are older than 35 in the military and they are the ones that are in charge of things. Therefore, if you are out there sniping, you would look for the older people in uniform and shoot them. Now, if you throw a bunch of old guys out there, then the enemy won't be able to use that as the criteria for sniping, therefore preserving the lives of some more important personnel by way of confusion.
__________________
Ingratitude is always a kind of weakness. I have never known competent people to be ungrateful.
-Goethe
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 03:43 PM   #24   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Louva-Deus
Just wait till I invent real-life mobile suits. Then one of us mid-20 yr olds can do the work of an entire batallion of old fogey soldiers
A real life moble suit?,whats that?,..does it include a tie?

By the time you finnish it you'll be our age.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 04:02 PM   #25   Add To Ignore List  
Did you see?
 
Louva-Deus's Avatar
 
魂クラッシャー
Joined: Oct 2001
 
Louva-Deus is offline
Default

Something like this http://newzeta.hihome.com/zg_018.jpg except mine would be human sized so I can cruise around at 300mph and smash things to bits with my might fists of fury!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 04:14 PM   #26   Add To Ignore List  
ZEN
roll'n ana stroll'n
 
ZEN's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2001
Location: Minn. USA
 
ZEN is offline
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Louva-Deus
Something like this http://newzeta.hihome.com/zg_018.jpg except mine would be human sized so I can cruise around at 300mph and smash things to bits with my might fists of fury!
Oh OK,..cool,..make mine with a trap in the back though,..and a warning light.
__________________
Great men do not aspire to work ... they thrust it upon others.
.oOZEN]:::::o Chase to the cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2004, 06:05 PM   #27   Add To Ignore List  
Direwolf Founder
 
BurnHavoc's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2002
Location: Newmarket, Ontario
 
BurnHavoc is offline Send a message via ICQ to BurnHavoc Send a message via AIM to BurnHavoc Send a message via MSN to BurnHavoc Send a message via Yahoo to BurnHavoc
Default

I'd go for this
__________________
If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.
- Issac Asimov


Wii Number [2504 6833 4090 9541]
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2004, 04:32 AM   #28   Add To Ignore List  
Footballer Orc
 
shewolf's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: North Carolina
 
shewolf is offline
Default

I *know* this is an old thread, but I had to respond

Send in the 1st Amazon Battalion. A large group of women, all with PMS. . . very angry and ready for revenge. . . Could you imagine? Screaming hordes of broads, carrying m16s, running in laura croft outfits (yes preferably large hairy ladies, it adds to the fear) all coming to get you. The arabs would all beg for mercy, and save us all time by beheading themselves I know I would LOL
__________________
One look in her lusting eyes :: Savage fear in you will rise :: Teeth of terror sinking in :: The bite of the she-wolf ::Beware what stalks you in the night :: Beware the she-wolf and her bite :: Her mystic lips tell only lies :: Her hidden will to kill in disguise
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2004, 07:21 AM   #29   Add To Ignore List  
Montana Moron
 
Mordkessel's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Mahboula, Kuwait
 
Mordkessel is offline
Default

it would work well. the way they treat women over here they would underestimate you from the start. or laugh in your face untill they got a knife in the guts.

I say go for it.
__________________
"People sleep peaceably in thier beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on thier behalf"--------George Orwell

"In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it."----Field Marshall Erwin Rommel


slow, stupid, and harmless
Mordkessel^(WCFD)^
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 12:17 AM   #30   Add To Ignore List  
Scrapjack
 
Arach's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2001
 
Arach is offline
Default

damn, this is a NICE thread!

Nice to see some familiar names still hanging around!

l8r guyz

former [oTF] clan founder
__________________
Arach aka. BoltX aka....
------------------------------------------
not that old, but older then most.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Good people played for fools about war? HighMaintenance Off Topic Forum 78 04-10-2003 02:10 AM
War on Iraq IQ test?....gimme a break... Sarge Off Topic Forum 27 03-03-2003 10:54 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:48 PM.