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Old 11-20-2002, 01:53 PM   #1   Add To Ignore List  
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Talking English declared Official language of European Union!!

European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five year plan for what will become known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. The hard 'c' will be replased with 'k', klearing up konfusion.

In the sekond year, the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the third year, komplikated changes will be possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.


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Old 11-20-2002, 01:59 PM   #2   Add To Ignore List  
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haahah...thats just freaking hilarious
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Old 11-20-2002, 02:18 PM   #3   Add To Ignore List  
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OMFG! I just fell off my chair!!
]HAHAHAHAHA nice one!
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Old 11-20-2002, 02:34 PM   #4   Add To Ignore List  
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thats great margolis. very f00nay
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Old 11-20-2002, 02:48 PM   #5   Add To Ignore List  
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Now that is great, heh heh.
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Old 11-20-2002, 03:37 PM   #6   Add To Ignore List  
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Ach........
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Old 11-20-2002, 03:44 PM   #7   Add To Ignore List  
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Hahah. Saw that years ago but it's still good.
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Old 11-20-2002, 04:19 PM   #8   Add To Ignore List  
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Hehe, I never saw this joke before.
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Old 11-20-2002, 04:29 PM   #9   Add To Ignore List  
 
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Bravo Margolis!


Did you guys know that Old English is very very close to it's direct predeceaaor, saxon German. That is why it can slide toward german so easily. That is except for it's French influences, especially that silent "e" stuff that I think is a French plot to drive english speakers crazy.



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Old 11-20-2002, 05:56 PM   #10   Add To Ignore List  
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hehehe

too funny
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Old 11-20-2002, 06:46 PM   #11   Add To Ignore List  
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Too funny Almost looked serious at first too.
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Old 11-20-2002, 06:49 PM   #12   Add To Ignore List  
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ROFL. That's great!
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Old 11-20-2002, 08:13 PM   #13   Add To Ignore List  
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most exselent
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Old 11-20-2002, 08:18 PM   #14   Add To Ignore List  
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Old 11-21-2002, 01:46 AM   #15   Add To Ignore List  
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Very funny.

And all the French go insane because the adopted language now is German by default.
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Old 11-21-2002, 02:19 AM   #16   Add To Ignore List  
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Lupo, the silent e is actually a shift that came from popular shortening of words within the English-speaking community. It is not a result of French influence but a parallel development. French words were spelled phonetically when a standard spelling became common in the late middle ages. Since then the trend has been toward clipped pronunciation for quicker speech.

Margolis please distinguish truth from fiction here...

This forum is my primary source of news.
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Old 11-21-2002, 03:55 AM   #17   Add To Ignore List  
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Old 11-21-2002, 06:37 AM   #18   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darth Plato
Margolis please distinguish truth from fiction here...

This forum is my primary source of news.
then you my friend need to grab the nifty program called klipfolio (see sig links) for 100s of news sources around the world on many different things.
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Old 11-21-2002, 07:28 AM   #19   Add To Ignore List  
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thats great Margolis
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Old 11-21-2002, 08:21 AM   #20   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darth Plato
Margolis please distinguish truth from fiction here...

This forum is my primary source of news.
well i myself didn't realise it was a joke untill i quickly glanced at the first few replys, but when i got to the end it's prety clear that's it's a joke
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Old 11-21-2002, 11:19 AM   #21   Add To Ignore List  
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Great
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Old 11-21-2002, 12:47 PM   #22   Add To Ignore List  
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Yep, those pesky Germans. I got one here at the house that always tries to take over this operation.
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Old 11-21-2002, 01:48 PM   #23   Add To Ignore List  
 
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Thanks for the correction DP. I guess i just got a bit carried away. My last name is Wolfe, see the silent E. I've been told It is the French spelling of my name. I would be interested in whether that is true. If you could tell me that would be cool.



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Old 11-22-2002, 12:17 AM   #24   Add To Ignore List  
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Wolf os loup in French, not a big surprise I am sure. But Wolfe could be a French spelling adopted by Germans or Englishmen who moved to France for a few generations. On the otherhand many English words used to have an e at the end that don't now and it could be a survival. The question might be answered by an enquiry into the ethnic history of your non-Italian ancestors.

As for the Margolis thing I just wanted to know if there were hints of an offcial list of languages to be announced for the EU. Of course the details of the story are false, particularly the Idea that english would be the sole official language.
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Old 11-22-2002, 05:58 AM   #25   Add To Ignore List  
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everyone should speak gibberish
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Old 11-22-2002, 01:54 PM   #26   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darth Plato
As for the Margolis thing I just wanted to know if there were hints of an offcial list of languages to be announced for the EU. Of course the details of the story are false, particularly the Idea that english would be the sole official language.

It is 100% joke, completely made up. Not a single fact in there I didn't think anybody would take it seriously if they actually took the time to read the whole thing :O
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Old 11-22-2002, 02:47 PM   #27   Add To Ignore List  
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This is a great one!!!
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Old 11-22-2002, 03:50 PM   #28   Add To Ignore List  
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Seriosly, I zoght it vasn't jok. How kold I knov? Funy anyvay . Muhaha
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Old 11-23-2002, 01:05 AM   #29   Add To Ignore List  
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Years ago there was talk of a language Esperanto that everyone was supposed to understand. never heard of it since..
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Old 11-23-2002, 09:55 AM   #30   Add To Ignore List  
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I know I have somewhere a book about Esperanto, hope still have it. As an artificial language it has rules without exceptions. Only things I remember: all nouns end with "o", all adjectives - with "a", no genders, you can put parts of sentences however you want, everything is read the way it's written. I am a boy - Mi estas knabo. This sentence surely sounds like from some Romance language, but there are words borrowed from all sorts of languages. As I said - only rules, no exceptions, so this applies to word forming - female analogues are formed by adding the suffix "-in-": knabo (boy) -> knabino (girl), patro (father) -> patrino (mother) and such.
I think the idea of everyone speaking one language sux0rs a bit, cause a language is a very important feature of its culture and by removing different languages you remove different cultures, but don't I help English at the moment to do the same?
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