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Old 11-22-2001, 01:10 AM   #1   Add To Ignore List  
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My girlfriend attempted suicide! shes in the hospital right now... should i dump her or not? i know this seems really harsh but who would want someone like that in your life access bagage.. What should i do?
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Old 11-22-2001, 01:13 AM   #2   Add To Ignore List  
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why did she do it? what if you can help her some how?
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Old 11-22-2001, 01:13 AM   #3   Add To Ignore List  
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Why should you dump her?  You should care for her and be fricking trying to do something about it - helping her.  Jeez.
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Old 11-22-2001, 01:19 AM   #4   Add To Ignore List  
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yeah i've been helping her for 2 days now but everyone is telling me to dump her so i dont know what to do? im propably going to stay with her
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Old 11-22-2001, 01:24 AM   #5   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Quote: from Melodramatik on 5:10 am on Nov. 22, 2001
My girlfriend attempted suicide! shes in the hospital right now... should i dump her or not? i know this seems really harsh but who would want someone like that in your life access bagage.. What should i do?
First off, it's excess, second, do not dump her.

If you were as low as she is, would you really want your pillar of support to pull out from below you? God no, because then you would be even lower than you were before your support was swept out from below you. And when you are that low, there is nothing to keep you from completing suicide.

I don't say this often, or publicly, but yes, my GF attempted suicide. In my very home, when I was home. I was watching TV, she was shaken up and asked to go to the bathroom and used my shaving razor to slit her wrists. She didn't tell me about it (she had on a sweater and used toilet paper around her arms so I cound't tell), I found out when her friend called me at 11pm and told me to look in the garbage. (Trust me, seeing a bloody razor blade and lots of bloody toilet paper in a garbage can is NOT a pretty sight.)

I stayed with her, she is doing really well now and she has not considered suicide for over a year and a half. Now, if I decided to (and I am going to sound harsh) be a coward and run, do you know where she would be right now? I think you do.

So basically, do not leave her. If you do, the results could be really, really bad.

I would also like to say I don't tell many people my past, the only person to officially know is Plankface and maybe some people on IRC, but that is it. I trust you all and trust you all enough to share that with you.

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Old 11-22-2001, 01:32 AM   #6   Add To Ignore List  
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Thanks Akuma that actually made me think about it more. I'll stay with her for sure and help her out all the way through thanks agian for the advice! i feel alot better feels like a heavy bag just came off my back.
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Old 11-22-2001, 01:37 AM   #7   Add To Ignore List  
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thank you so much about your adive i really feel better now!! it really means the world to me.. i dont know who to go to cause everyone always told me to dump my gf and those words are the exactly same words i needed to hear thanks agian
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Old 11-22-2001, 01:38 AM   #8   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote: from Melodramatik on 5:32 am on Nov. 22, 2001
Thanks Akuma that actually made me think about it more. I'll stay with her for sure and help her out all the way through thanks agian for the advice! i feel alot better feels like a heavy bag just came off my back.
Hey, no problem. I know it helps alot to have someone who you know has been in your shoes (or close to).

Anything to help a Sammer feel better!... as long as it is legal in the Continental US... if it's drugs.. well, talk to me privately :biggrin:

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Old 11-22-2001, 02:14 AM   #9   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Quote: from AkumaReihai on 5:24 am on Nov. 22, 2001
Quote:
Quote: from Melodramatik on 5:10 am on Nov. 22, 2001
My girlfriend attempted suicide! shes in the hospital right now... should i dump her or not? i know this seems really harsh but who would want someone like that in your life access bagage.. What should i do?
First off, it's excess, second, do not dump her.

If you were as low as she is, would you really want your pillar of support to pull out from below you? God no, because then you would be even lower than you were before your support was swept out from below you. And when you are that low, there is nothing to keep you from completing suicide.

I don't say this often, or publicly, but yes, my GF attempted suicide. In my very home, when I was home. I was watching TV, she was shaken up and asked to go to the bathroom and used my shaving razor to slit her wrists. She didn't tell me about it (she had on a sweater and used toilet paper around her arms so I cound't tell), I found out when her friend called me at 11pm and told me to look in the garbage. (Trust me, seeing a bloody razor blade and lots of bloody toilet paper in a garbage can is NOT a pretty sight.)

I stayed with her, she is doing really well now and she has not considered suicide for over a year and a half. Now, if I decided to (and I am going to sound harsh) be a coward and run, do you know where she would be right now? I think you do.

So basically, do not leave her. If you do, the results could be really, really bad.

I would also like to say I don't tell many people my past, the only person to officially know is Plankface and maybe some people on IRC, but that is it. I trust you all and trust you all enough to share that with you.

AkumA
Access baggage. LoL.

Hmm. I don't think you should dump her. Your friends are only thinking for themselves (if they were in your position). *If you dump her... she'll feel unwanted, and probably try again. ;(
Then the guilt WILL be put on your shoulders.
Stay with her, if you love her.
I don't see why you wouldn't.
It would benefit you to talk to her about it, if she will be willing to. See why she did it. That's the best thing you can do, right now.

Edit: I don't see why you would be embarrased, Akuma. A lot of people have tried to commit suicide, etc. They all have their own reasons. You shouldn't spread around, but you shouldn't be afraid to talk about it, either.

(Edited by MasterEvilAce at 6:16 am on Nov. 22, 2001)
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Old 11-22-2001, 02:28 AM   #10   Add To Ignore List  
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yeah really, if you dump her it will only make her worse, and she would probably try to commit suicide again. *No one wants that to happen.  Especially probably not you.

(Edited by Viper45 at 12:28 am on Nov. 22, 2001)
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Old 11-22-2001, 02:49 AM   #11   Add To Ignore List  
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i can say from experience if my friends had left me when i tried so many times i would have succeeded. if it was not for their support i would not be here to bug the hell out of all of you.
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Old 11-22-2001, 02:50 AM   #12   Add To Ignore List  
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I know Ace, but I always get one person who is... "ultra-apathetic" and comes at me from all angles making sure I am ok. It happened near 2 years ago, so I am fine now... but for like a month I didn't go to classes, I didn't talk much, I kept to myself alot.. lots of questions, but no answers. It's a really tough position to be in, but if you stick through it, it get's better. Me and my GF just celebrated 2 years last November and she is doing really well now.

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Old 11-22-2001, 03:27 AM   #13   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Quote: from AkumaReihai on 6:50 am on Nov. 22, 2001
I know Ace, but I always get one person who is... "ultra-apathetic" and comes at me from all angles making sure I am ok. It happened near 2 years ago, so I am fine now... but for like a month I didn't go to classes, I didn't talk much, I kept to myself alot.. lots of questions, but no answers. It's a really tough position to be in, but if you stick through it, it get's better. Me and my GF just celebrated 2 years last November and she is doing really well now.

AkumA
Yeah.. Good to hear you and her are ok, though.

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Old 11-22-2001, 03:49 AM   #14   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Quote: from devMystic on 6:49 am on Nov. 22, 2001
i can say from experience if my friends had left me when i tried so many times i would have succeeded. if it was not for their support i would not be here to bug the hell out of all of you.
And I must admit, you got the "bug the hell" out of us part down perfectly You really know your job :biggrin:

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Old 11-22-2001, 04:46 AM   #15   Add To Ignore List  
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hey if you bug people enough without actually doing anything wrong you can make em go insane :biggrin:
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Old 11-22-2001, 05:56 AM   #16   Add To Ignore List  
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Yes, but if they are already insane it really...haha... makes no ... haha ... difference!  BwahahahahahaHAhAhaaaa!

I'm with the team on this one.  Those friends are misled by one of society's most common prejudices, that against people with psychological problems.  If it weren't for the stigma placed on depression, manic depression, schizophrenia, and just plain being troubled, many more of the people who suffer from these things would find recovery and a fruitful life.

What's ironic is that the number of people on psychiatric medication, to say nothing of those in therapy with a psychologist, is rapidly growing toward the point where it will be a majority.  So there is an invisible minority all around us, and more likely than not everyone in this forum has at least one family member or friend with some condition.

It's enough to make you wonder if the Unabomber was onto something when he suggested that the proliferation of psychiatric drugs was actually a fix for the aberrent nature of society.  It's not that there is something wrong with all those people; it's that society as is is is just plain unhealthy with all of its stress and stress producing ways to reduce stress.

But enough of this digression.  You will do yourself, and her, and society a favor by taking her seriously and walking through this together.  If you find you like her less later, say in a few months, or if she starts using you in an unfair way (this can and does happen) break up with her then.
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Old 11-22-2001, 06:22 AM   #17   Add To Ignore List  
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Jesus Fucking Christ All-mighty. (no offense to any religions)

This is pathetic with all this suicide shit. Around my area I only heard of one incident and there was some sort of logical (if sucide CAN be logical) reason. Anyone who even has a remote thought of doing it should be locked up in the funny farm. Taking your own life is just fucking stupid, what motive could possibly justify it. At least with murder, most of the time you have something to gain (in a sick way).
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Old 11-22-2001, 06:33 AM   #18   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Quote: from DiscoStu on 4:22 am on Nov. 22, 2001
Jesus Fucking Christ All-mighty. (no offense to any religions)

This is pathetic with all this suicide shit. Around my area I only heard of one incident and there was some sort of logical (if sucide CAN be logical) reason. Anyone who even has a remote thought of doing it should be locked up in the funny farm. Taking your own life is just fucking stupid, what motive could possibly justify it. At least with murder, most of the time you have something to gain (in a sick way).
Well it happens, some times life gets too stressful for people and they think that once life is over they wont have to deal with all of the stress anymore. *So they decide to get it all over with as quick as possible.....its bad over here, two of my family members have tried to commit suicide, and one of them succeeded, and lot of people at my school are suicidal...

(Edited by Viper45 at 4:34 am on Nov. 22, 2001)


(Edited by Viper45 at 4:35 am on Nov. 22, 2001)
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Old 11-22-2001, 06:48 AM   #19   Add To Ignore List  
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Quote:
Quote: from Viper45 on 10:33 am on Nov. 22, 2001
Quote:
Quote: from DiscoStu on 4:22 am on Nov. 22, 2001
Jesus Fucking Christ All-mighty. (no offense to any religions)

This is pathetic with all this suicide shit. Around my area I only heard of one incident and there was some sort of logical (if sucide CAN be logical) reason. Anyone who even has a remote thought of doing it should be locked up in the funny farm. Taking your own life is just fucking stupid, what motive could possibly justify it. At least with murder, most of the time you have something to gain (in a sick way).
Well it happens, some times life gets too stressful for people and they think that once life is over they wont have to deal with all of the stress anymore. *So they decide to get it all over with as quick as possible.....its bad over here, two of my family members have tried to commit suicide, and one of them succeeded, and lot of people at my school are suicidal...

(Edited by Viper45 at 4:34 am on Nov. 22, 2001)


(Edited by Viper45 at 4:35 am on Nov. 22, 2001)
Yes. Usually it's because of people picking on others... or maybe somebody's love dies or something.
Hard things like that really start all of the maddness.
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Old 11-22-2001, 09:22 AM   #20   Add To Ignore List  
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Hmmm.. if i didnt want to be with this person - i would dump her. I mean, cmon if you stay with every girl you was with just because you felt sorry for her and didnt want her to do anything stupid, you'd have a long line of girls!

I just broke up with my girl, shes knows that i could do some damage to myself - i did love this girl so much - but i would sooner her NOT stay with me than stay with me out of pity!
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Old 11-22-2001, 12:04 PM   #21   Add To Ignore List  
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I have to agree with MatrixMillion on this one.

"If" you "love" her then help her as much as you can!

"If" you don't "love" her then still help her, but ONLY as a friend. Don't be a scumbag and outright dump her! No sex. No petting. No hugging & kissing. VERY little hand-holding and then only during moments of reassurance. But don't be totally cold about it! Taper the "GF" aspect out of the relationship. Reassure her as a "friend" not a "lover". She'll understand that something has 'gently' died in the relationship and it won't be as hard as it could be on her ego/pride. This could take weeks or months, so be patient.
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Old 11-22-2001, 12:32 PM   #22   Add To Ignore List  
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IMHO dumping her now would be selfish. She is still human and if you did, you would brake the rest of her life. You like her because you were going out with her (rite ) so, you must like her and you have no reason to want her to die.... so you must do anything you can to keep her alive because she is human.
She may atualy kill herself if you don't stay with her, it's a mess, but one you may have to stay in.
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Old 11-22-2001, 02:00 PM   #23   Add To Ignore List  
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yea, i would support her, even i dont know much bout this kinda topic. but that seems to be the obvious chouse
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Old 11-22-2001, 05:56 PM   #24   Add To Ignore List  
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discostu: you are so ignorant and cold its a waste of time saying anything further.

matrixmillion: if you really cared about the person then it would not be out of pity unless you really were that heartless and never cared about her in the first place. you take care of them because you love them. you also need to look at his situation, his GF attempted suicide and after that fact he is wondering if he should break up with her, your deal on 'if i didnt want to be with this person' doesnt really apply.

depression, manic depressive, paranoia are a disease and are to be taken very seriously. by ignoring them or distancing yourself from them you are not helping to cure the disease but make it spread. avoiding the problem doesnt make it go away, it just makes you ignorant and selfish. just think if you were in that position, would you want people around you to treat YOU the same way that you treat these people now? i dont think so.
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Old 11-22-2001, 06:13 PM   #25   Add To Ignore List  
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One reason she may have attempted suicide is because she wanted more attention. Leaving her would be very bad then.
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Old 11-22-2001, 07:08 PM   #26   Add To Ignore List  
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I suppose I was a bit ingnorant in my last post. I havent experienced anything remotely like this. People around here just dont want to kill themselves. I asked around the older ones in my family and they said they dont remember knowing anyone even with the thought of doing it, nevermind having had tried. I am sorry if I offended anyone, it is just this subject angers me slightly. There are people dying out there with no food or shelter, and dont have a choice about it. Then there are these people that have anything they could possibly want, and want to kill themself just because they got dumped or had a tragic loss. Let me tell you I have had my share of losses. Maybe more than the average person, but I got through them. I was strong. For every close friend or family member I lost (there has been about 6) over my life time, I go on living for them. I just hope others do the same for me if somthing should ever happen to me.


Ok now lets get off this gloomy subject and talk about something joyful.
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Old 11-22-2001, 07:47 PM   #27   Add To Ignore List  
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most people who do have those thoughts do not tell anyone so its quite possible you have known many people that do but never knew about it. for myself i grew up in a home where people really didnt know how to express themselves and didnt know how to help each other so we all kept to ourselves. i was in counceling from the age of 5 to 17 and half that time i was very suicidal. i have lost 7 of my closest friends to suicide in the last 4 years. its not a game and not something to take lightly. this belief that people who are not starving or extremely poor dont have the right to be depressed or wanting to die is very prejudiced. by condemning people for wanting to die because you believe they do not have a valid reason for it you are condemning yourself. it is not a game. depression kills more people in the US then most of the diseases we know of. do you know why it is so dangerous? the reason is because unlike things like the flu and many common ailments depression isnt cured in a few days with a drug. depression is a disease you fight your entire life with or without medications that help. it has taken me 16 years to get where i am now, and i still have a long way to go. do not treat this like its childs play.
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Old 11-22-2001, 07:59 PM   #28   Add To Ignore List  
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Let me tell you people do not just kill themselves off. They have stressors in there life that makes them go to those limits. I can tell you .. you should stick with her, because ive been there. I've seen people succeed in killing themselves after no one took care of them the first time. Life is precious, and so many people dont see how precious it is. Help them see the light.
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Old 11-22-2001, 08:17 PM   #29   Add To Ignore List  
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Unfortunatly, i have to agree with DevMystic.

I have suicidal tendencies. *I never tried, hope i never will. *Now, do i have reasons to feel that way? *No, not at all. *I have a great familly, great friends, i am in a relationship with a girl i love for 8 years and half, i am in good health, quite bright, and i am posting during my work. *I should be more than happy with life, but... *It is hard to explain. *You get happy, then see something that reminds you of what the world really is. *Why should i be happy when i know there is people starving? Do i deserve to eat well, to live? *The problem can be approche from many angles. *I must say their is a lot of depression in my familly and it could be only a malfunctions of my brain's chemicals, i don't know. *Also, we have one of the most high suicidal rate of the world here in Quebec. *Why,*it is a very good place on earth? *Maybe because we have no higher primal hope (like surviving). *What else could we do? *Die? *I know it sound weird, but you have to fight for your life to really appreciate it. *There is also the guilty feeling. *You cannot feel depress, you have everything to make your life easy! How can you not succeed? *Then, one day, you do not succeed, and you feel guilty...

Maybe i am just crazy.

Still, try to help her. *If she do not want your help, leave her (don't dump her). *If you love her but she's hurting you, maybe you should leave her for your own good. *You are the best juge for that.
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Old 11-22-2001, 09:58 PM   #30   Add To Ignore List  
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The situation as presented is quite simple.  The only issue is whether her suicide attempt is a good reason to break up with her.  The answer is "No."  If there were other reasons to do so, or if the breakup was already in the works, this is absolutely not the time. &nbspsychiatric hospitalization is a dehumanizing experience for most patients, and breaking up with her now would send her a terrible message.  

Filtered through her experience and current trauma, it would say: "You are beneath consideration and do not qualify to be loved anymore.  Everyone knows that you have lowered yourself in this way and I'm ashamed to be associated with you."  Maybe all that would not be intended, but it is what she would most likely feel.  The experience would be with her as long as the the suicide attempt haunted her memory.

Even if there is a good reason, now is not the time.
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